Will you be my friend?

When we're little, we're pretty open about asking someone to be our friend.
As we get older, we still seek friends and make friends, but we're not as blatant about it (usually)

The trouble is, as we get older, while we should be wiser and more discerning about who we should have as friends, often we're not. We enter into friendships and relationships without the discernment we should have.

Reading through Proverbs brings so many things to the surface. Friendship is one of them. Reading through Proverbs 12, you'll come to verse 26 which says, "One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." (ESV) The literal meaning of the first part of this verse is: "The righteous chooses his friends carefully" which clarifies the principle so well. 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1 essentially tells us that we should not ever join in any spiritual endeavor with someone who is not a believer. This principle certainly applies to many things from marriage to mission trips, but doesn't really address a simple friendship.

Eric Lane, in his excellent commentary on Proverbs, says this:
"The wise/righteous man is very careful whom he chooses for his confidant and adviser (close friend). All this teaches us that friendship is best entered not casually but carefully. In choosing friends we have a duty, to ourselves not to let the demands of friendship lead us astray, and to our friend to help him/her go the right way."

We certainly shouldn't follow the monastic idea of separating ourselves from all things secular and hiding away and not interacting with those who are not followers of Christ at all. We do, however, need to be much wiser in those we choose to be friends with.

One commentator put it this way: We shouldn't allow anyone who is not a believer to have a place in our life where they would have influence over us.

Put simply - the people you choose as friends, those you hang out with, those you spend time with will have a profound influence on you. The one(s) you spend the most time with will have the most influence on you.

Make sure that influence is Godly. One of the guiding principles of the reformation was Soli Deo Gloria. Remember - everything in life is to be to the glory of God. From the little things in life (eating, drinking) all the way up to the friends you choose and every other decision you make - you should seek to glorify God through them.

One of the "Ten Questions" for this year is "How will you intentionally evaluate all of your friendships and determine which ones you should keep?"

Let the Bible (Sola Scriptura) guide you as you answer this question and are obedient to His Word.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Rob

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